It's Christmas Eve and I am reminiscing over Christmas past. The pictures I'm sharing is one of Celeste and Jacob at candlelight service December 2013 and the other one is of Jacob and Celeste with their grandmother December 2014.
Thinking about our traditions and how no matter how hard we try everything has changed.
Our Christmas trees made it out of the box this year which is a huge accomplishment, and a couple weeks before Christmas at that. Jacob loved Christmas. It was one of his favorite times of the year. We would be excited because right after Thanksgiving we would put our Christmas trees up. We have one Christmas tree with all of the kids ornaments from years past. That was one of our traditions for them to pick out an ornament each year. I'm so glad we did that. As I put up each ornament, I can remember those special memories. I especially like the homemade ones with a picture of them. This will always be my favorite Christmas tree.
The holidays are always the hardest time for us. Starting in October we can already feel the challenges of the holidays. It's a time of year when families are together celebrating and for us it's one more painful reminder that we are not complete. That we are missing a part of our family. A piece of us is gone and we are not the same. With every photo taken and every family get together Jacob's absence is noticeably present and more so for us. Don't get me wrong, we are forever grateful for everything we do have. For our family that is still here with us especially our awesome daughter Celeste but with every joy in our life a sadness accompanies it. It is hard to explain and not everyone will understand. It's a feeling that we can never escape no matter how hard we try. It's a part of our lives now and we just have to make the best of it.
As we celebrate Christmas this year we remember the joyful ones we had in the past when we were complete but we also think about our future and all the hope we can continue to bring to families thru Jacob's Ladder Foundation. I know several of them right now are in the same place we were two years ago. My heart goes out to them and all I can say is for them to be present every single moment. After all is said and done, what we have left are those moments. Wishing you all a Merry Christmas this year and a Happy New Year!
A special ornament was given to us this year. It was an addition to our kids Christmas tree :)