I will never forget the day that Jacob had to start his radiation treatment. We walked into this huge office where there were different areas sectioned off with seating. Chairs lined the glass wall by the door you walked in and to the right and left you had the sectioned seating. As we walked to the front desk, we noticed a table sort of in the middle with a half done puzzle. I couldn't help but feel the coldness and the uneasy feeling as I walked in. I could only imagine what Jacob was feeling as he was the one who was going to receive this treatment. It was quite different from what we were used to. Everything at the clinic is somewhat colorful and inviting but not here. We approached the front desk to find a spunky receptionist with a smile on her face and a cheerful voice. She asked all the usual questions and got Jacob registered. We sat in one of the sections to wait for the doctor to call his name.
I couldn't help but notice all the people waiting around us. Older people, younger people, and people from all walks of life but fighting the same fight. Jacob quickly won the heart of the receptionist and every time we would either leave or arrive she greeted him with "Hello handsome" or "Have a good day handsome." That always made him smile and he would look up to me every time she would tell him that.
Where we were sitting I noticed a board on the wall with encouraging quotes for everyone to see. I shared a quote for her to post on the board which goes like this: Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow." Those words helped Jacob along this unknown world which included "radiation treatments". He wasn't very happy that day he had to get measured to get ready for his first treatment. I had to continually encourage him as he endured all that this entailed. I still have his journal entry he wrote that day after we got back from that visit.
So what is courage to you? To me, it was something I continually saw in my son. He was so young and yet he always did his best in whatever was asked of him to do in order to survive. He learned to swallow huge pills and always made sure to never miss a dose. He drank his water as we made sure he would get enough to stay hydrated. He was careful when he wanted to go to his favorite store, GamesStop, and made sure it would not be too crowded with people. He would tell us when something did not feel right or when he felt too sick and just wanted to rest. He didn't always roar, but he always had that quiet voice inside him saying, "I will try again tomorrow".
So whatever you may be facing in your life today whether it be sickness or just trying to pick up the pieces that are left after something major happens, always remember to try again tomorrow. Continually trying and never giving up. I live with that in mind everyday. I may not feel like going on at times. Sometime I feel like just retreating and crawling into a hole but then I remember.......... I see that smile that would always tell me "It's ok Mom, it's gonna be ok."